Fuck fuck fuckity FUCK.
That’s about the extent of what I am legally allowed to say about a current situation in my life. There are lawyers and they know so much more that I do, so I am letting go of it in a “Jesus, take the wheel!” moment of surrender. It’s not ideal at Palms Abbey presently, but The Juggernut, Husbandito, and I are trying to be gentle and kind and just LOVE one another right now. We’re a team – our little family – and that’s what you do even when the stress is reigning down like fire from the heavens. So even though there are too many times when tempers flare and words are screamed rather than softly spoken, we pause and hug and say I’m sorry and try to really mean our reactions and behaviors with be amended. It’s fucking difficult, to say the least.
One of my amazing, badass attorneys commanded Husbandito and I to go towards the love during all of this legal mumbo-gumbo. The fact of the matter is we have so much love in our world. Love that I often do not feel like I have earned or am even qualified to accept, let alone return in kind, but it is there and OH MY GOD do we need it right now. We have to do the leaning on rather than be a shoulder to lean on and I hate that more than words can express. But I need to for the good of my family, whom I love more than my own breath.
So I say it here, friends and followers: the next few weeks and months are going to be wicked rough and I’m going to have to let go of a lot of expectations and learn to let love rule. I’m going to need your help.
I’m going to need your help and I have no idea what that looks like.
Jesus, take the wheel, indeed.