So I fired my doctors yesterday. Yes, plural. They were dismissive and not trying to get to the root of my problem even though I had told them 1,000 times that I understand my numbers are fine, but I’M NOT FINE. Today, I had a consultation with a doctor who specializes in autoimmune conditions and he knew exactly what was going on with me within minutes of our conversation. I shared my “numbers” with him and he was like, “They’re okay, but you’re not feeling better. That’s a problem.”. I wanted to burst into tears because it was the first time in THREE YEARS I actually had some hope. It’s not “just in my head”. I’m not going crazy. I do not have PTSD or GAD or clinical depression – I have two autoimmune diseases who are duking it out in my body and currently winning. But there was hope.
Until I heard the cost. Fuck me.
So, how do I find a way to pay for treatment when money is so tight and we are drowning in debt? What do I give up to feel better when there’s almost nothing left to give up? Sell my engagement ring? It’s a family heirloom and while I think it’s worth a million, it’s not enough and Zack won’t let me. How much is my health worth?